i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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