"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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