just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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