literally had 100 drinks last night.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
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God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
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Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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