This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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