Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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