hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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