My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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