jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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