Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Help. Why am I so naked?
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