I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
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So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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