At least make sure they are 18
Why
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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