The best revenge is premature balding
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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