Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
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Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
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She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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