I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
His nipple licking is glorious
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