If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
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You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
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And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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