glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize