it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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