So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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