i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize