Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize