You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Can I color on your dick again?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize