lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
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i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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