Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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