the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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