So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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