so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
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The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
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HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
soo... how was my night?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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