Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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