Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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