i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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