The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize