I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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