Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We are all done wearing pants today
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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