your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize