I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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