How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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