Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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