why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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