I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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