saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
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I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
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You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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