Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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