Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize