"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
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And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
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You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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