I feel like I'm in dance class right now
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
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