He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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