I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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