I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize