I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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