My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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