Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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